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| 01:55am 22/07/2004 |
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FuTuRo
I was talking to Jenny tonight and she tells me that I'm the one that always brings up sex in our conversations. Once she started talking, I realized it was true. But being the stubborn bastard that I am, I decided to hold my guard and say that she's the one that starts it.
Yeah, well, I brought up her nipples again. Yes, I'm evil. Made her feel all embarrassed again. But I don't get it. Why does she get all embarrassed? She tells me it's because I'm a guy. I feel there's more behind it.
Sometimes I feel that she's so innocent. But now that I know all that I know about her ... sexually anyway ... I know that it's not true at all. That's kind of a turn on to me. Just knowing that she's never been with a guy before, that she's never done anything before makes me more attracted to her. I guess it's because deep down inside I still have hope that I could be the guy that she's with.
I told her Monday night that I had something to show her in 9 months. Something good. She asked me if i was pregnant. ha! right ... but no ... I told her that she would just have to wait. Then she asked me if I would have a 6 pack in 9 months. And I pretty much told her "I Hope" I do. I've come to think that it's the only way that I will ever get her to look at me in that way is if I lose a great amount of weight and become that "all-american guy."
I really want to be that kind of guy. The guy that all the girls look at and are dying to know what I've got to offer. I know it's kind of cocky or conceited, or whatever you want to call it, but I'm not that way at all. I guess I just want that moment. Even if it lasted just for 1 day.
My feelings for jenny will never go away. I will always be attracted to her. I will always be there. I'll just keep hoping that one day we could have what other people I see around have. Even if it were doomed to like fail, I would still like to know what it would be like between us. I would like to know whethere we would even have that intimate connection between us that would keep us together for a long time.
I went to a fortune teller a couple months ago. She told me that I would marry her and have 4 beautiful children. She said that we will havea wondeful relationship because we are soo compatible. Normally I wouldn't buy this kind of stuff and it's against my religion, but I gave in. She told me that we are destined to be together. She said that we would have a great relationship and a marriage full of joy, culture, love, and over-powering intimacy. She also told me that I would have incredible health; that I would be extremely confident because I would be finally comfortable with the way that my body looks. She said that we both will be beautiful people on the inside and out, and that we would help each other achieve that. She said that we will always be happy and always love each other and our family and friends. She said that we love to help one another and other people. People will look at us and admire us for not only our physical appearance, but at what wonderful people we are and the happiness that we will spread to other people. She said that we will be successful business and political figures. Our future will be filled with love, health, happiness and wealth. That we will put our children and family first before ourselves.
She went on talking to me for almost 2 hours. She had tears in her eyes. It's weird, but I felt something. I felt a weird, tingly feeling up and down my body. She held my hands so tight and felt so sincere that I shed a few tears myself.
If that were to all come true, I would be the happiest man on the face of the earth.
She did warn me though. She told me that I am the only one standing between our destiny. That only I would be able to control what went on between Jenny and me. That if I truly loved her, I would make this happpen. But she said it has "already been written". Meaning that it will be sure to happen.
Ugh ... now I feel all motivated again.
Well, ttyl
JC |
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| Freak! |
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| 01:53am 22/07/2004 |
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<STYLE type="text/css"><!--strike {font-family:arial;font-size:9pt;font-weight:bold;line-height:7pt;letter-spacing:2px;color:white;width:100%;cursor:default;text-decoration:none;background-color:orange;border:1px solid orange;text-align:right;}--></style><center><p style ="background:url(http://tripnyc.org/images/sexy-logo.gif);width:400;height:300;border:1pt solid orange;"></p><B><Big>FREAK!</b></big><br><br><center><span style="overflow:auto;width:250;height:120;padding-left:2px;padding-right:2px;padding-top:2px;padding-bottom:2px;filter:progid:dximagetransform.microsoft.gradient(gradienttype=1,startcolorstr=black,endcolorstr=orange);border:1px solid orange;text-align:justify;"><font color=white>My best friend Jenny is a freak! She's not as innocent as she wants people to think she is. I'm so bad. She was telling me about how long her hair was on the phone. She told me that she measures it in a weird way. She said that she measures it with her boobs. That once it reaches past a certain spot, she has to get it trimmed. She told me that if i said what it was, that she would have to kill me. Yeah, well, being the shameless bastard that I am, I pushed it and said it was her NIPPLES! She got all embarrassed. I laughed my ass off of course. I don't know why she gets all embarrassed. I mean, it's just me she's talking to. She claims it's cuz I'm a guy. Yeah, BULLSHIT! There's so much more dirtier and more in depth things that we have talked about, that this just was nothing at all. I mean, I told her how long my damn penis was. And for her sanity, I didn't give her any more details. LOL. She cracks me up. I mean, c'mon we stay up late and talk about sex almost every time we talk. And she's too embarrassed to talk about her own anatomy. I should just tell her i need to know this stuff cuz I wanna be a doctor. Great, now I sound like a perve. See, I kind of have this thing for her. I'm not like in love with her, but i know there's something there. I like completely spilled the beans to her in complete details. I mean, i told her how she made me feel and how much i wanna be with her and stuff. Hey, she pretty much told me to tell her. I should have just told her that i thought she was sexy and that i wouldn't mind going out with her and left it at that. She like completely was shocked and "didnt know what to say". We haven't spoken about it since. But yea, she's got definite sex appeal. There's just something about her that makes her sexy. I don't know quite how to explain it. She's got red hair and i think it's sexy. It would be even more sexier if she were to put hilights in it or something like lindsay lohan. I think she's sexy. Jenny thinkgs she's ugly though. I just think she's dumb for thinkin that. i just nod and tell her she's not. I told her tonight that by the time we go to college, she's gonna be so damn hot. and thats like 2 years away. See .. my theory is that girls get sexier as they get older. they have that mature, older look. COmplete turn on. I have like seen her in my dreams. What she will look like anyway.
ttyl
JC |
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